Occasionally, we want to showcase the voice of the prison wife in her own words. She may be a wife or a girlfriend or a loved one. But it is important for us to recognize that when her man does time, she does time, too.
Hello to all my fellow Prison Wives, Fiancees, and Girlfriends!
Let me start off by introducing myself! My name is Brandy Beisel, and my husband, Jason Beisel, is currently incarcerated 5 years into a 10-year bid at FCI Beckley in West Virginia. We call our home New Martinsville, West Virginia.
Let me start with a little snippet of our backstory. Jason and I dated in 1999 at the ages of 14 & 15. We dated for about 4 months and he was my first everything! My first love, my first – well you know – and he’s truly always been the keeper of my heart, even over the years as we had other relationships start and end.
Life’s no fairy tale, but their love is
We went our separate ways as most teenage couples do but remained close to an extent over the years. He has 2 children from a relationship that he had before his first bid. It was 3 years, from 2002 to 2005, in a Ohio DOC, and when he came home he actually got with a friend of mine. Now, mind you, this was 6 years after we dated by this point. I was okay with it towards them but secretly always wanted him back for myself;
I just never knew how to tell him – and I regret that more than anything!
During those next 5 years in between his first bid and second bid, he had 2 children with a friend of mine. I had also had 2 children of my own and ended up getting married to my children’s father in 2006. That marriage lasted 8 years…
Now every time I would see Jason or even hear his name, I still always got butterflies and that secret yearning of still wanting him in my life! When he started his second bid in 2010, we lost all contact. No one would tell me where he was, and I didn’t know that Federal had their own website to search for inmates… so I could never find him but I did try so many times!
Fast forward to November of 2014. That friend of mine he has his two beautiful girls with wanted to take them to see their daddy because they hadn’t the whole time he had been gone. So she actually asked me to give her a ride to FCI Hazelton. Of course, that special place I had secretly hidden in my heart for him automatically made me say yes because I knew how important it would be for him to see his baby girls.
The mother and he were not together by this point. They had separated not too long after him going into to the 10-year Fed bid so, at this point, it was just a mother taking her children to see their father. I was not able to go in and visit because I was not on his list. He called his children’s mother on the way home and told her to tell me thank you for bringing them.
A few days later I asked if my friend minded if I email him just to see how he was doing, and to tell him that it was my pleasure to give his girls a ride to see him – and she actually said okay!
So we started emailing, and that turned into calls, and eventually visits. My first visit was December 12th of last year. I was nervous the whole 2-hour ride, wondering how we would act, what would we say? Now, mind you, yes I was still married at the time, but our marriage was falling apart drastically way before this, and we were not getting along at all! Back to that 1st visit though…
As I was patiently waiting for him to come out I was so anxious! Next thing I know, here he comes walking out and I literally think I felt my heart stop for a few seconds, and my knees got weak! He came over to me, gave me a hug, and kissed me! Talk about emotions flowing all back at once!
You always remember your second First Kiss…
We had an hour visit and not a whole lot of talking was done by me because I couldn’t believe I was sitting in front of the man that I had always been in love with. Staring into his eyes and him staring into mine! It had been so long since I saw him look at me like that…it literally almost brought tears to my eyes!
After that visit, our contact was constant! E-mails, calls, visits, letters… and we just became closer and closer!
Now I am not one to condone cheating, but my marriage was pretty much over with anyhow. The only reason I didn’t leave at first was because I had been that woman who depended on her husband for stability, plus finances for years with no income of my own.
That’s just how it was: He didn’t want me working. So to be able to just drop out of that marriage wasn’t an option at that time because I knew I would be down and out with my children!
Jason completely had my back through it all, understood my reasonings and agreed, so we kept it on the down low for the following 3 months. My husband ended up finding out about Jason and we divorced. To my surprise, he was still willing to support our children – and even myself, as in bills and necessities, thankfully, because he knew I needed time to get back on my feet.
Jason and I have formed a bond that is truly unbreakable! That man has been my rock through all of this, as well as my children. I would not know what to do without him again, and I never want to find out. This is not easy being a prison wife, the loneliness he and I both go through, the endless missing each other, and just the need to be literally together again.
Thankfully, we will only be waiting for about another year and a half (that we have guesstimated), counting his good time. He will then be moved to a halfway house only 45 minutes from our home, which I am truly ecstatic about! I cannot wait for the weekend home visits, and then for him to finally be home with me and all the kids once and for all!
It’s the toughest love you’ll ever…love
You’ve definitely got to be strong-minded to hold your man down during these hard times and you’ve gotta have full trust with each other. Remember: Communication and honesty are key! We are only a year into being back together, but it feels like we were never apart in the first place, coming from 16 years ago.
Everything fell naturally into place for us. I have and will continue to be here for him through thick and thin, and for better or worse, for the rest of our lives!
We have that fairy tale love where you end up in life with the one you’ve always held in your heart. We couldn’t be more blessed than to have found each other again! I know it’s cliche but I believe we are truly meant to be – destiny at it’s finest! We are hoping to add to our family of 8 with a baby together when he comes home!
I hope the time you ladies have left with your men goes by quickly and, in the blink of an eye, you’ll finally all have him in your arms!
To the ones doing life sentences for their men, major props to you! We all are the true definition of “ride or die”, holding our men down! Much love to Pigeonly for asking me to write this blog post for their site! Thank you for your time in reading my post. I hope you enjoyed a peek into our love story!!
If he isn’t going anywhere, she isn’t going anywhere. Going #HAMformyMAN